Drawing Thanks

They say that beautiful things often come from dark places, especially when it comes to art. The truth is, that was the reality for Drawing Thanks. In 2017, while in university, I experienced one of the hardest years of my life. Within the span of months, my mum, dad, and nana (grandmother) were all diagnosed with cancer. Even for a family that had dealt with many health scares throughout my sister Jenna’s young life, this period of time was earth shattering for us—then Nana was suddenly gone.

At the time, my Borderline Personality Disorder was undiagnosed. I felt big feelings, but I lacked the skillset to manage them effectively. This left me in emotional turmoil and with an inner desire to tell my loved ones how I feel while I still have time. Drawing Thanks began as “142 portraits” (the number of pages in my sketchbook) as I decided to draw those I love, write them a thank you note to go with it, and track my progress as an artist along the way. I started with ink because I knew I would get caught up in my mistakes if I went with pencil. Erasers would not be an asset to this project. I had to learn to love the lines I drew just like the people they represented.

Around half a year into the project, I finally began to share my portraits online and was presented with the opportunity to do a vinyl wrap mural for the City of Vancouver. In order to achieve this, I knew the faces on the mural had to be connected to Vancouver. I began on a journey which focussed on meeting new people based on different themes of the week. From local business owners to other visual artists, musicians, and so on, I started seeing the city through a brand new and exciting lens. Keep in mind, this was a daily portrait project; eventually my calendar got quite busy! As my schedule filled up, so did my desire to continue to meet people in this fashion.

Soon, I would begin to recognize that there was a bias informing my project as I was still very much at the centre of the selection process. I wanted to challenge that right away. I would find myself working with community organizations such as CreativeMornings/Vancouver, Locals Lounge, and A Better Life Foundation to try a more community-informed approach to my artwork. These relationships became integral to both the project and my own sense of belonging.

Then 2020 happened. A global pandemic suddenly cut short all my in-person connections with the new faces I wanted to draw. The community spaces I relied on were no longer available. Voices were amplifying as the Black Lives Matter movement gained immense footing and Indigenous peoples continued to cry out for their lost daughters and sisters. It felt like my time to quiet my voice on social media and focus more deeply on active-listening. I continued my portraiture, but in this time, the portraits were largely focussed on those creating safe spaces for marginalized folks. There are many from this period of Drawing Thanks that I someday hope to meet.

As I continued listening and deeply pondering the purpose of my own voice, I started to do a new kind of work—a hard kind of work. I began to look at my mental health. Through psychiatry, counselling, and a variety of therapies including DBT and EMDR, I found a comfort and acceptance in my queerness, as well as an understanding of my Borderline Personality Disorder.

Over 3000 portraits and a whole lot of self work later, I am feeling comfortable in sharing that voice and my purpose. At this point in time, a blog feels just right. After many attempts of trying to keep up on social media knowing there are literally years of portraits for me to share before I can possibly get everyone caught up, I had to try another approach. This new space feels so exciting to me because here I am choosing to set aside linear storytelling and focus on the quality of the relationships and the stories I wish to tell. All those portraits are already out in the universe making people feel seen. It would be a shame to rush trying to recapture that magic.

If you have made it this far, you are all caught up on this journey! Please enjoy your time on the Vancouver blog which features many of the wonderful relationships formed from 2018 to 2023 (and beyond) and join me on an exciting new journey with the City of Maple Ridge as I do a three year artist residency from 2024 - 2027!

Thanks for being here.

With gratitude, Alex